STFU(!)

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LOSER

This little girl is...

ME

And now im almost 17

Tears falling down my seventeen year old face i felt so unloved, i felt out of place, i've told all my secrets to my pillowcase.

Being or feeling alone is one of the saddest places to be. You can have all the money in the world but if you don't have anyone to share it with, you have nothing. The need for human companionship is universal. In ancient times, people stuck together because they literally needed each other to survive. In today's world, we tend to spread out and live more isolated lifestyles. In some ways this is a luxury. In other ways we had it better when we lived in close proximity. Humans are creatures of community and need each other for companionship.

House full of people but still alone. You feel the love from your family but still alone...Here i sit wondering where i went wrong, The pain of being alone is the hardest..Wanting it to end asking yourself if it ever will...Thinking only i can change the things i hate in my life, but how can you change something that is always the same..you wake-up day in and day out doing and moving the same no day different then the next. Waking up and falling asleep alone...

Here is about one girl, that i used to be friend before. i ammuse her only like a normal friend of mine but i am not that cruel and not that bad as to put her away and dont be friend with her.

At school she's always alone no friends to call her own its not fair you think but walk away
glad your not that girl? you look out your bedroom window and see a girl sitting against a wall her eyes so filled with emptiness you look away glad you'r not that girl?

the doorbell rings your heart skips a beat the footsteps reach the stairs you whimper silently and face away you wish you weren't that girl.

Lucky me man !!

Sometimes, i feel lucky but think back about what are they have done to me? All the hurt comes away of my mind? The way how she treated me? She's also pernah told me that 'who's gonna cares about mybirthday?' like so oh my god how could a bestfriend of mine saying that to me can you imagine that? Last time, she've told me that her other friend has given her the best ever present for her brthday but not like me. What im planning is always the wrst.. Actually i have something surprise for her but when im thinking about what she've just told me make me wont saying anything but just thinking. Am im too bad for her? Or im so we called it as BAD FRIEND OF HER? hahhhhhhhhh

Some of thier jokes makes me hurt. I just cant accepted that. Maybe that's my weakness. i admit it and they should be understand me but yeahh.... *speechless

And my apparent 'best friend' doesn't apologise? i mean, what? It was bad enough to have to get an arm bandage. i know i must seem rude and stuck up, but i thought it was common courtesy to apologise when you hurt someone, especially your 'best friend'?

Whatever it is i am so proud for having them in my life and im so thankful for having them just i miss my those time that i used ta have a lot of friend and most of them are so great for me :) No matter what it is, this is now and the time will never cme again.

For the past few days i have experienced several kinds of emotion. Some of them hurt me and some of them make me smile, only a bit, though. i've been wondering how far we can face the'hurt'. If we look at all the time that we've passed, i think that all of you will agree that we've experienced a lot of things. Some of it, like i said before make us hurt, disappointed, angry

i still try to do my best to my friend if im able to do it. if they dont do the same? i dont give a damn. i even dont care if they dont thank me or forget me after i have helped them. i do what i want to do. Also, i was stabbed from the back which decreased my trust to others. i found it hard to trust people. Now, i have managed it tough. i carefully think about the thing that i can share to my friend. i listen when they need me and keep it as a secret if they want me to. So far, i havent spilled any of my friend’s secret. i believe that being hurt doesn’t mean we have to hurt others back.

As a human we are designed to be a strong creature. We can choose to use our feeling or logic. in the end, when we can overcome all the things that hurt us, i do believe it will make us a better person. Although, the effect will remain in an undefined time, but i believe we will heal. My question is when you’ve been hurt by others, will you still trust them? Me? i still try to trust others (; Sometimes our feeling takes over the logic

Still still, im glad, im so thankful Alhamdulillah im still can live mylife well thank God (;